Hitting 'Delete'

I don't like to criticise my Creator but I have a design fault.
It's not a big problem, God. You could easily fix it by adding a simple device - so simple that even my email inbox has one. A box beside each item of my life that I can tick with one click and then press the Delete key and - whadya-know - it disappears.
Another option allows me to Select All - Delete All.
I would like one of those, please God, fitted to my life.
If I could just hit Select All Mistakes and then Delete, most of my unpremeditated funny remarks that were heard as deeply unfunny by somebody would disappear instantly, along with their simmering resentment and hurt feelings.
(But many of the meals I cooked would also count as Mistakes and cease to have existed, and that would leave my husband very much thinner than he is).
Being able to Select All Painful Memories and Delete, would be delectable.
I'd give a far more impressive impression of a joyful - even jolly - Christian, if I didn't get twinges of nasty past experiences hobbling my pace as I stride into the future. Deleting them would leave me free to stride with a positive attitude and a spring in my step - a much better witness to the joy of faith in God than hobbling, or sobbing, at inappropriate moments.
(Though it might make me stride, relentlessly cheerful, past people going through current painful experiences and not even notice).
Deleting all the criticisms fired at me would be good (unless they were constructive and character-forming and had prevented me from becoming a homicidal maniac).
Delete all the gossip? Fantastic. It was never very interesting.
Delete all my own opinionated assessments of situations I knew nothing about? Very good idea.
Delete my prejudices, naive generalisations, getting-the-wrong-end-of-the-stick-isms? Ditto.
See, God, you wouldn't be wasting your time. If you could see your way to refining my software and activating my keyboard and giving me a Delete key, I really would use it very frequently.
No?
But why not? It's a perfectly reasonable ....
Oh.
You want me to use another key?
Instead of hitting Delete, every time I screw up or trip up or get knocked down, you want me to hit ..... Divine?