Cellulite as a spiritual gift

I firmly believe that anything, however bad, can be a positive if only you trust God to use it for good.

But I have to admit to getting stumped by cellulite.

Everyone I know, especially in these beach-body months, is either on a diet - and morose because they're hungry - or on ice-cream and chips, and depressed when they're in swimming gear because they wobble unless they move really slowly.

But for those of us who lack that perfectly toned outline in bikini or swimming shorts, I have good news: I have now discovered a purpose for cellulite as a useful aid to spiritual discernment. If, like me, you're sometimes unsure somebody is really a trustworthy friend or not, cellulite can help you decide.

Try this simple exercise:

Imagine you are sunbathing on the beach in minimal clothing and maximum flesh, and in the middle distance you see the person in question walking towards you, fully clothed.

On catching sight of them, do you unhesitatingly:

a) wave cheerily, in the hope of a friendly chat, or ....

b) dive under the nearest sunbed, completely encased in your beachtowel?

See?

Thank God for cellulite, then. As well as for everything else.