Retreats

Another good bit in Eugene Peterson’s brilliant book, ‘The Jesus Way’, talks about the difference between a worship experience and worship. He says, ‘It is the difference between cultivating something that makes sense to an individual, and acting in response to what makes sense to God.’
It caught my eye because I’d just been hearing someone’s experience of visiting the community on the ‘Holy Island’ of Iona, historically the site of the introduction of Christianity to the British Isles, and it reminded me of my own experience of a weekend in a Christian retreat centre.
In both cases, the agenda got sidetracked from focus on and worship of Jesus Christ as sole and sufficient expression of God and his purpose for us as individuals and – whether through a well-meaning attempt to be all-inclusive or a less honourable desire to be pc or cool – introduced some Buddhist and Hindu worship forms and general New Age expressions of spirituality.
The retreats were worship experiences which said nothing about Jesus as the balance in each person’s life, not needing to be ‘balanced’ by non-Christian religion. In fact, much of the weekend was indistinguishable from a New Age retreat that included some mention of Jesus.
But in both these cases of ‘Christian’ retreats, most of the retreatants were emotionally satisfied by the ‘worship experience’. It focused quite a lot on self, and met the need to feel self-esteemed; it was expressive, and met the need for physical expression of spiritual feelings, and it left people feeling good about themselves. In terms of any New Age retreat, these two Christian retreats would have been a success.
In terms of a Christian retreat, it missed the point, though - which was to stand back from the prevailing values and priorities of the world and focus on God, through looking at the real-life flesh-and-blood person of Jesus and allowing both comforting and uncomfortable thoughts to arise about who he is, how he lived, and what this tells us about God. I can then start to see myself in his context, in true perspective, and the natural outcome of this is worship – to give God his due worth. The expression of this is not an expression of how it makes me feel, but a renewal of my will to serve God.
Peterson says, ‘Holiness cannot be reduced to an emotional devotional experience that we cultivate in order to “feel spiritual.” It has command content to it.’
There’s nothing wrong with feeling spiritual. We are spirit, because God who made us is spirit. Admiring nature is spiritual. The emphasis on both those retreats was to remind us that we are spiritual beings, as well as flesh and blood.
On my retreat, being invited to look at myself in the context of the Hindu Mandala – wheel of life – offered me some glimpse of where I stand and who I am, or at least how I perceive myself, in a wider scheme.
On my friend’s Iona retreat, listening to or participating in Buddhist chants invited the group to detach themselves from focus on the world and any private anxieties and concerns and rise above them.
Both invited feelings of being significant – having a place in the scheme of things – and of being limited – being only a tiny part of that wider scheme. So there was nothing wrong with the feelings engendered by those worship forms, nor with transcendental meditation or other disciplines embraced by New Age retreat centres. They are certainly worship experiences. But worship of what, exactly?
What the ‘worship experience’ doesn’t do is bring me face to face with the living God, the one who has rooted every one of us firmly in this world, as creatures of flesh and blood and spirit, and then rescued us from being defined by it – not by instructing us in spiritual disciplines but by sending a saviour to rescue us and lift us above the limits of flesh and blood.
So the sign of a good retreat is not to come out of it feeling uplifted, or calm, or energized. It’s quite possible to feel all those things and actually be farther away from God than when I went in.
The successful outcome of a Christian retreat would be to emerge with a more realistic view of where I stand with God, in terms of what he’s asking of me and offering me. If I’m saying yes to him, then he is Lord and I’m giving him his true worth and his true place in my life – first. And that’s worship. And the outward form of that worship of God will be a deeper desire to serve.
I might come out of the retreat feeling happy and motivated. Or I might come out crushed, saddened and humbled. It’s not about feelings.
Or it shouldn’t be. It should be about God (translated for me as a human being by Jesus’ personality) and me. Not about my problems and escaping them. Not about me, my path, my vision, my transcendence or my destiny. It should be about making space to allow God to communicate with me – even if he says the one thing I don’t want to hear.
It doesn’t seem to me that every Christian retreat or conference or worship gathering is achieving that aim of bringing people face to face with the God who is.
If Christian communities start to compromise with ‘religion’ or ‘spirituality’, as though Christians need something other than Jesus, then the only message they preach is a do-it-yourself spirituality and that’s no good – because we can’t do, ourselves, what God wants. Not without Jesus.
And not with Jesus as one item on the menu in a ‘worship experience’ – however satisfying it feels.