Domestic abuse

Day before yesterday I got asked to go and pray with a young woman, neighbour of the daughter of a friend, whose husband is violent with her. Last time I prayed with someone in that situation, it turned out that the names he was calling her were mild compared to the names she called herself in her mind.
It made me wonder if domestic abuse starts very close to home - with the person herself (or himself) not seeing how wonderful and amazingly precious they are to God.
This particular young woman was obviously bright, kind, courageous, honest and resourceful. Why had she allowed herself to become the punchbag of a man she loved but saw clearly as damaged by his past, unstable in his mind - through no fault of his own - and unable to cope with life? Why had she elevated him to some kind of god in her life, believing she couldn't cope without him? Or with him?
What names did he call her? Fat cow. Useless.
Why did she accept being called such blasphemous stuff?
Because I am, she said. I'm fat, useless, lazy, stupid, paranoid, weak ....
WHOAA!
I prayed with her, and am praying for her now, to see herself through God's eyes. She looks in the mirror - or at the image of herself in her husband's bitter and jealous eyes - and sees a pile of insults. It's outrageous. God looks at her and sees someone he created in his own likeness - a distinct family resemblance to himself - full of the qualities he endowed her with.
If I have got those qualities, I'm not using them, she said.
So, start. They're all there. In all of us.
I don't deserve to have God helping me with my life.
None of us does. Join the club. That's why he sent his son, Jesus Christ. He deserved the best, but took the worst. For us. That has to be worth a smile, doesn't it? So look in the mirror and smile.
I'm going to keep praying for her but I feel she'll be all right . She's got what it takes to stop believing those stupid lies and see herself for the real live vibrant human person she is, with a place in the world and a right to live in her home without abuse. From anyone. Not even herself.